I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
