O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
