I think i peed on brittanys purse
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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