Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
