i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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