Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
another moral hangover. fuck.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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