thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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