It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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