Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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