I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You should frame my arrest warrant.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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