Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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