your room smells of hookers.
And success
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
