Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
