is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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