Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
