fuck your aforementioned shoe
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
