she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
