I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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