So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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