I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the gays at disneyland are vicious
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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