I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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