just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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