so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
