ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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