There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
