I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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