JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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