I'm so fucking centered right now
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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