u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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