k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
