what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
