just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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