gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
