please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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