carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
