like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
