Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
