He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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