Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
