I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
