I bet he comes in French.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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