I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
