How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
