Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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