oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Come see our sink grown plant.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
