You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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