meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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