Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Text me some of your sweat
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize