No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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