That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
