Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize