Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You made out with two different species that night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
