Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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