Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How's work?
Spinning.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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