You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
