All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
