# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
