Can i not drive my cunt home
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize