I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize