my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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