Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
