I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
