is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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