sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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