Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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