: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
